I dated the wrong friend!

As time passes in our lives as single people, male or female, we all are part of dates which are less than memorable; maybe even bad. Sometimes we might even continue dating a person that "isn't too terrible" just because we know how bad the rest of the world is. That brings me to today's topic. How many times have you dated someone, then met a friend of theirs and said "Wow, I made the wrong decision".

Whether you choose to act on that thought is entirely different than what you feel. There is always the reasoning that cheating with your mind is cheating, but lets just say for the sake of this blog that you are only getting to know the person. What do you do in a situation like that? I have only acted on my feelings once and I almost damaged a very good friendship because of it. But, should the friendship really have been damaged because I expressed my true self?

Was it wrong or right I do not know, however, it is how I felt. I was attracted to the girl I met first but more attracted to her friend. The facts are I had more in common with her friend than her anyways. So why do we always feel that after we date someone we can take emotional, physical, and mental possession over them? Even if the dating is separated years in between? You date one person and you can basically forget about the possibility of dating anyone in their circle regardless of whether it works out or not.

Maybe its just girls? Guys are more savage, I've know multiple instances of men dating their friend's ex-dates. I start to think: are we really more savage in that respect or just more true to ourselves?

There is no way "the friend" can tell if they are going to like you or not and usually will take themselves out of the picture because you "dated their friend". I really don't know what the answer is and so it has been a topic of discussion between my cousin and I for sometime.

Why are we in this perpetual act? Why is it that we cannot be ourselves in this social norm we call dating? In my opinion it is one of the times when we should be displaying our true colors.

Recycling Exs

I'm sure everyone knows at least one person that I like to call a "Recycler". These are men or women that call an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend for company or pleasure once they terminate a relationship. I'll say in my experience it's the women that I know that recycle.

I'm wondering what it is that attracts these people to this pattern? If you broke up with someone or they broke up with you it's probably because something wasn't quite going right. Is it because women don't want to add another guy to their "list". Is it because you feel less guilty about having sex with someone that you've already had sex with? Is it because you truly want a second chance? or a third?

There is always going to be more feelings from one side than the other. One person sees it as a an opportunity to make up for the mistakes they made, at least in the short term. The other side sees it as passing time. I believe that recycling actually makes it harder for you to find someone new because you are concentrating time and efforts on that person. Chances are the sex or the company was better in your mind than in reality.

I'd say a majority of the time recycling an ex doesn't work so why do people do it?

"The 3-day Rule"

Most every guy knows about "The 3-day Rule".I was surprised to find after chatting with a few of my girlfriends that many women do not. The reason I am writing this blog is because I find the dynamics of a male/female relationship incredibly interesting. I had recently been searching the web for something completely unrelated and came across another blogger talking about the subject. So, I'd love to know what my girl friends think of this.

The 3-day Rule is simple. When you go out with a woman that you really like you wait 3-days to call. I must admit that I have no idea if this rule has transferred into waiting three days to text. The reason behind this waiting period is so that the woman you are dating does not think you are overly interested in her. As if though 3 days later you magically popped into our brains. Yeah right! The truth is most guys are dying to get to that third day to call you. And usually we have internal struggles as to the time we should call. "Should I call in the afternoon or at night?"

Most guys, even the most confident, have some fear of being rejected and it has been ingrained in us since an early age that women usually want the opposite of what we want. Example, if we are really interested in you and we let you know then you tend to be less interested. If we show that we might not be interested then you start thinking "what the hell does this guy think? I'm the one that will be doing the rejecting here". My girlfriends want to have their girl's night out until the boys want to start having guy's night out, whatever the case may be we never know what you want so we have established our own crazy guidelines. Hence, the 3-day rule. Showing you "the opposite" of what we really are. Now, if we could only get women to believe we really don't like sex!

I haven't believed in the 3-day rule in a long time. Sometimes to my advantage and sometimes to my disadvantage. That being said, I am of the opinion that if you have to be evasive at the beginning of a relationship then those patterns will persist throughout it. I do not feel I have the definitive answer as to whether or not the 3-day rule works. I'm sure women will say it's stupid and men will say it's necessary. What I do know is that it exists and that at some point most people have had experience with it!

Hard to Believe Life or Pathological Liar?

Have you ever hung out with someone who's stories were just so outrageous that it's hard to believe they are true?

There is not much I hate more than a liar, but I have yet to figure out how to deal with someone who's life is unbelievable. They will tell you a story that is near impossible to believe and later the story gets confirmed.

Is it my lack of trust or is it that events take place in their lives that should not really happen? At what point does is get hard to separate the truth from a possible lie? Should you spend time dealing with someone that you cannot really read well?

I do not think that it is the fault of the person with that kind of life. As hard as it is for me to comprehend I do realize that people are sometimes placed in situation where outlandish things happen to them. I have experienced people with unprecedented drama; it even happens in my life from time to time but if you spend your whole time doubting everything that a person is telling you I think it is best to move on.

In my opinion those people are better handled by someone more trusting or gullible, whichever the case may be.

Any similar encounters?

Letting yourself go

Have you ever been dating anyone and held back saying something you really mean because you didn't want to seem weak? I know it has happened to me and most likely everyone at some point. Have you ever sat back to think about all the things you might have missed out because of that? I have realized that we need to go with the flow, say what you feel, text the person when you want to text them, call and say the things you really mean. There is no use hiding your feelings. Our society is too fake as it is. By admitting these things to our significant other and more importantly ourselves we get closer to living the most fulfilling lives possible.